Do you ever have friends later in life that make you wonder if you're "queer enough"? I came out in my 30s, and since then I've felt like I should be playing catch up for all my friends who came out in high school and had time to settle into the feelings that I'm only working through now. There's so much about queer culture that I don't know, and it feels isolating.
"So the anxiety about not feeling queer enough is so real.
Like, I deal with it all the time -- it ebbs and flows. Especially when I login to Gay Twitter, and there's a new meme going around, and everybody is like, "#GayCulture," and I just don't get it. Or maybe I don't care.
But that doesn't make me or you or anybody else more or less queer. The cool thing is that queer culture doesn't define us, we get to define queer culture by being ourselves with our perspectives, our voices, our humor, our love.
And that is so, so cool, and so exciting. Totally terrifying, but so, so exciting.
Queer people are magic. We are creating this expansive beautiful world for ourselves, where there all these spaces for each one of us to feel seen and heard. And by being here we help other people feel seen and heard, and that's just so cool.
So you will always be queer enough. Always and forever be queer enough, whether you're out or not out. No matter what age you are, no matter where you are in your journey of discovering yourself. You will always be queer enough, and I'm just so excited for you to be going on this journey — to be discovering all of these pieces of our queer history, of yourself, of what queer culture means to you.
And I'm just so, so happy that you're here.
is a former pro golfer, three-time All-American, LGBTQ sports law & policy expert and the founder of both the Queer Asian Social Club & Open Fairways Golf.