QUESTION

Is it okay not to come out at all? My teammates can be really homophobic, plus my family is super conservative. I don't want to be bullied or looked down at. I don't know any other gay people and I'm wondering if it's better if I don't come out at all.

Answer

"Coming out is a deeply personal decision, and you're the only that's on that journey, so only you can know when it's the right or wrong time to do so.

If you feel like you're family is not going to be supportive because of their conservative views, or your teammates aren't going to be supportive because you've heard them use homophobic language, then maybe right now isn't the right time to come out. And that's OK.

But I do think there's going to be a time when that does feel right, so I wouldn't want you thinking the alternative to coming out right now is to never come out because there's a lot of room in between that. And I think eventually you will come out, and I hope you do because it's really empowering, and it's a wonderful important thing to live your life honestly and authentically, and I want that for you.

So it might not be right now, but I do think it'll be at some point. And in the meantime, if you could find someone to talk to — a friend, anybody. It doesn't have to be a teammate, it doesn't have to be someone in your family. It could be a teacher. But anyone you think you can confide in, I think you would feel a lot of comfort and weight taken off of your shoulders by speaking that truth to someone who could potentially understand.

And if you don't have anyone in your life, there are resources: The Trevor Project is a great one. You could phone in and talk to a professional, and I think you would probably feel a lot of relief just speaking those words. But anyway, there's no right time or wrong time. I hope you're able to figure it out for yourself, and I wish you all the best of luck on your journey."

Gus Kenworthy
He/Him

Gus Kenworthy is an Olympic medalist, actor and queer rights advocate.